A Day in the Life!
by Stixer111
Summary: A story co-written by me and a stranger on Omegle. Written as a play. Starring: Devious!Lily, Annoying!Sirius, and Gullible!James. Sirius wants revenge, and lets Lily in on his plan. What does this mean for James? Mildly cracky. rated for mild swearing. ABANDONED!
1. Act 1, Scene1

**A/N-** _Co-created with Murphi, an awesome stranger on Omegle, Stixer111 presents: __A Day in the Life! __ Murphi was Sirius, I was Lily, and we took turns being James. Also a quick apology: I know I should get back to writing my other fics, but I can't find the notebook in which I wrote the ending to Old, New, Borrowed, and Blue. The epilogue will be posted as soon as I do though. Also I haven't had any time to update my reading the series fic. It will happen as soon as I can, after exams and stuff. Again, I apologize, and will update as soon as I can._

**Act I, Scene I**

**Sirius:** Hola, Evans.

**Lily:** What do you want Black?

**Sirius:** Will you do me a favor?

**Lily:**What sort of favor * narrows eyes suspiciously*

**Sirius:** I need revenge.

**Lily:**on who?

**Sirius:** Our very own James.

**Lily:**Potter? Aren't the two of you like brothers or something?

**Sirius:** One thing you don't know is that brothers get revenge on one another.

**Lily:**well what about the rest of your merry band of idiots? Wouldn't Remus and Pettigrew like to help?

**Sirius:** They would. But I need you for this one. *smirks*

**Lily:**Exactly what do you have in mind... I'm not saying yes, mind you... I'm just curious...

**Sirius:** Will you coax him into coming into the boy's dorm? I was thinking you could kiss him.

**Lily:**WHAT! NO!

**Sirius:** Chillax. Just on the cheek.

**Lily:**And what exactly will happen in the boy's dorm... I'm still not saying yes by the way.

**Sirius:** Well I've done some research…

**Lily:***Gasps dramatically*

**Sirius:** On pressure points.

**Lily:** Pressure points?

**Sirius:** Indeed.

**Lily:** Do I want to know why?

**Sirius:** He put a cockroach in my drink! He's getting revenge.

**Lily:**Fine... but I have a price.

**Sirius:** Which is?

**Lily:** You have to keep Potter out of my hair for the next two weeks... and wear a dress to breakfast tomorrow.

**Sirius:**WHAT? NO!

**Lily:** I never said it was a cheap price

**Sirius:**The dress thing is NOT gonna happen. I'll do the other thing.

**Lily:**Alright, will you at least color your hair pink for the day?

**Sirius:** No. Not pink.

**Sirius:**Purple?

**Sirius:**No. Not a girl color.

**Lily:**will you go blonde then?

**Sirius:**No.

**Lily:**Blue?

**Sirius:**HECK YEAH! But...How do you dye your hair?

**Lily:**You're a wizard Black, and a wizard who enjoys causing mayhem no less. You can figure it out.

**Sirius:** Fine. *does a spell and his hair turns blue* THIS IS SO COOL!

**Lily:***rolls her eyes* when am I going to do this revenge thing then.

**Sirius:**Whenever he comes in here. I'm going to go hide in the dorm. *goes and hides*

**Lily:**Oh bugger, here he comes now...


	2. Act 1, Scene 2

**Act I, Scene II**

**James:** Hey Lily.

**Lily: **Hi James *smiles flirtatiously*

**James: **What are you doing?

**Lily: **Oh nothing, it's really boring in between classes you know...

**James: **Yeah.

*Awkward silence*

**Lily: ***Mutters under breath* dammit black, this is harder than I thought it would be

**James: **So..?

**Lily: **I was wondering, are you doing anything right now, I mean what's your next class *blushes awkwardly*

**James: **I'm not doing anything at the moment. My next class is charms.

**Lily: **Um... so I was wondering... umm, if you'd like to go for a walk or something, I mean if you're not busy or whatever... *trails off, blushing harder*

**James: ***follows her* Sure.

**Lily: **Let me just get my coat. *Kisses James on cheek, and runs up the stairs*

**James: ***blushes*

**Lily: ***in girls dorm* Dammit black, you owe me so much more than just changing your hair

**James: ***waits for Lily*

**Lily: ***Comes back down* Oh, it's rather cold outside Pot- erm, James, Don't you need a coat?

**James: **I'll go grab mine. I'll be right back.

**Lily: ***sighs* Black, you owe me for the next three years


	3. Act 1, Scene 3

**Act I, Scene III**

**James: ***goes up stairs into the boys dorm* HEY GUYS! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED!

**Sirius: ***sirius comes out from under the bed* What mate?

**James: **EVANS JUST KISSED ME! I MEAN, SHE ACTUALLY KISSED ME! Ummm... what were you doing under the bed?

**Sirius: **Just looking for something. And WOW!

**James: **I KNOW RIGHT! I told you she fancied me! Even asked me to come for a walk and everything!

**Sirius: **Can I tell you a secret really quick?

**James: **Sure... wait, you don't like Evans do you, I mean come on mate, you know I've been in love with her since first year-

**Sirius: **I don't like Evans…Come sit down and I'll tell you the secret.

**James: **Alright then... *sits down next to Sirius*

**Sirius: ***puts his hands on your shoulders and wispers* I enjoy payback.

**James: **What?

**Sirius: ***pushes down hard on his pressure point* See you when you wake up.

**James: ***Blacks out*

**Sirius: **HAHA! Oops. *walks down into the common room proudly*

**Lily:** Well black? Had your revenge?

**Sirius: **I sure have. Thanks Evans.

Yeah...I'm going to be increasing the price to four weeks of James, I mean Potter free life. Good luck keeping him restrained after that kiss by the way. oh, and you owe me.

**Sirius: **Owe you what? I'm gonna get enough payback from James when he wakes up.

**Lily: **Yea, but you didn't have to KISS him. Next time I need a favor, you're gonna help me and the girls out.

**Sirius: **Fine.

**Lily: ***Holds out hand for a shake*

**Sirius: **Well if you'll excuse me I'm going to hide from James. *shakes your hand*

**Lily: **Pleasure doing business with you Black. See you around. *smirks and leaves*

**Sirius: ***runs out and goes into the library's restricted section* Please don't look here...


	4. Act 2, Scene 1

**Act II, Scene I**

**James:** *Groans* what the…

**Sirius: **Uh oh...He's gonna kill me when he gains consciousness. I can take a nap in the mean time. *falls asleep on the bench*

*Meanwhile in the common room*

**James: **SIRIUS! I'm going to KILL him! Now... If I were hiding from my self where would I go?

**Sirius: ***sleeping*

**James: ***Thinks for a bit* Aha! The Library!

**Sirius: ***is still asleep*

**James: ***Grabs invisibility cloak from trunk* Oh, I'm going to get him. I'm going to need a few supplies first...

**Sirius: ***snoring*

*Five minutes later*

**Sirius: ***is still sleeping*

**James: ***Camera flashes* Wakey-wakey Padfoot... and I must say, you make a LOVELY young lady.

**Sirius: **WHAT? *runs to the bathroom* Are you kidding me? *does a spell to get the makeup off*

**James: ***Follows* don't even bother trying to reverse it… it just makes you prettier... oh and changes your outfit... *smirks smuggly*

**Sirius: **I'll get it off somehow... *Tries a couple more times, and gives up* Ok! You win! Tell me how to reverse it and I will never prank you again! EVER

**James: ***Laughs hysterically* Oh, you just have to wait it out; the spell doesn't reverse until tomorrow night. *gestures towards Sirius's dress* Pink is not your color by the way, totally clashes with your hair.

**Sirius: **I'm going to go and hide. *runs into the dorm* I hate you, James.

**James: **You're going to have to come out sometime.

**Sirius: **No I'm not.

**James: **Like when you get hungry

**Sirius: **I'll get Remus or Peter to bring me food.

**James: **No you won't...

**Sirius: **Yes I will. Wait- why not?

**James: **If they try, they will meet the same fate *laugh's evilly*

**Sirius: **You're so mean. I have a stash of food up here anyway.

**James: **You think I haven't taken care of that?

**Sirius: **When I get a hold of you! You're dead! *Silence* I'll come out to eat but that's all. If anyone makes fun of me they'd better know what will happen.

**James: **That's not going to stop me, Remy, and Peter. Now I'm going to go find Evens... she so fancies me, she kissed me and everything.

**Sirius: ***smiles* Of course she does.

**James: ***ignores sarcasm* Hell yeah, who wouldn't?

**Sirius: **If I tell you some very important information, will you bring me food?

**James: **Depends…

**Sirius: **It's about your "love" Lily.

**James: **Spill… If it's any good, you get the food.

**Sirius: **You remember when you put the cockroach in my drink?

**James: **Yeah?

**Sirius: **I was planning on revenge, so I let Evans in on it. Her job was to get you to come up to the boy's dorm. All I had to do in exchange was to dye my hair blue and keep you away from her.

**James: **No. She wouldn't have helped you! She hates you almost as much as she "hates" me! Besides, you could have easily given yourself blue hair just for the hell of it!

**Sirius: **Ask her, it's true!

**James: **Nah. This your revenge for my revenge, isn't it? Well I'm not falling for it. I'm going to go find her, whether you like it or not! *Leaves to find Lily*

**Sirius: **Fine, *Sticks out his tongue at James* find out for yourself.


	5. Act 2, Scene 2

**Act II, Scene II**

**James: **Hey Lily

**Lily: **What do you want Potter?

**James: **Potter? I thought I was James *looks around confused*

**Lily: **What? Wait… Oh, I'm going to _kill _Black!

**James: **Tell me what's going on.

**Lily: **Argh! I don't have time for this. I'm going to find black, and I'm going to kill him. *Storms off to find Sirius*


	6. Act 2, Scene 3

**Act II, Scene III**

**Lily:** *Storms into Sirius' room* what the hell does this mean Black?

**Sirius:** He doesn't believe I used you as revenge on him.

**Lily:** *Ignores him completely* Four weeks! The deal was four weeks! YOU DIDN'T EVEN LAST FOUR HOURS! *Hexes Sirius' hair pink*

**Sirius:** I was going to! Honestly! I just didn't want to be seen like this. YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME!

**Lily:** Well now that your hair matches your dress, you can make a public appearance. Call. Him. Off. *starts to leave, then turns around* erm… I thought you weren't going to wear the dress.

**Sirius:** *pouts* I am NOT making a public appearance.

**Lily:** OH, you're making a public appearance you twat, and you WILL get your best friend out of my hair! Seriously though, why the dress?

**Sirius:** I didn't put it on! I'm gonna go change into dude clothes. *comes back wearing robes*

**Lily:** The makeup?

**Sirius:** James said it won't come off until tomorrow…

**Lily:** Did you try muggle makeup remover?

**Sirius:** Do you have any?

**Lily:** I might… *Smirks* but…

**Sirius:** I swear I'll keep him out of your hair! *gets on knees and begs* PLEASE!

**Lily:** First go set him straight, then we'll talk.

**Sirius:** He said he had to hear it from you to believe me.

**Lily:** Then we go together… I left him in the great hall.

**Sirius:** Please! Just give me the remover! I'll give you 20 galleons and total freedom from James!

**Lily:** You're coming with me. *grabs his arm and starts to drag him towards the door*

**Sirius:** Wait! *puts a hoodie on and ties the strings to cover his face* OK, let's go.


End file.
